Welcome to Drexjokes.com!

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Martin Drexler's original jokes

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Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to check out my small corner of cyberspace!  I try to update frequently new jokes as I scribble them here or on social media.  I appreciate your interest in my humor and please support live comedy as many comics like myself are working hard to hone our craft for you!  If you are here to find out more about my tutoring service please see "Need Math Help?" tab at the top.  I hope your day is a good one!


Upcoming show(s):  none.  Taking a brief hiatus from stand up at the moment due to three little ones at home... well, four counting my silly ten-yr-old.  Hope to be back on stage in 6 months or so.

Thank you for supporting live comedy!

Quick blurb on Marty Drexler:

--  Full time high school math teacher since Sept, 1998.

--  Self published Almost Joke Book (all original jokes) July 2009.

--  Part time stand up comic since Aug, 2010.

--  Comedy achievements include...

    *Ohio's Best Amateur Comedian contest winner (summer 2011).           *Dave Schwenson's Workshop grad with two performances at                      Cleveland Improv (summer 2012).                                                     *Invited back to alma matre Kent State University to speak as part              of their Kent Reads program October, 2012.                                       *Finalist on ABC's The View in their search for America's Funniest              Teacher, live performance February, 2013.                                         *Headlined first comedy show for fundraiser at Riverside HS in                    Painesville, OH January, 2014. 



You can find me on facebook:  http://facebook.com/drex3 (or search Marty Drexler)

Also on twitter:  @DrexxInEffect

TODAY'S J.O.D.                               6/22/17

I have been putting a lot my recent jokes on facebook and twitter.  I actually received an email from twitter corporate saying that a joke I tweeted recently is now trending.  #yearight
YESTERDAY'S J.O.D.                    6/21/17

Been watching some MLB games lately.  I noticed the Miami Marlins have new uniforms.  They are way too big though.  Players complain that they are swimming in them.



My work, ALMOST JOKE BOOK (Vantage Press, 2009), is still available on amazon.com but hurry supplies are running out fast due to Vantage Press recently closing its doors after over 60 years in the business.  According to my critics, publishing my book was the reason for this lol.  To order, email me or go here:  http://www.amazon.com/Almost-Joke-Book-Marty-Drexler/dp/053315815X/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1387972580&sr=8-3&keywords=almost+joke+book

 

     Ever since I was voted class clown my senior year of high school, I've been writing jokes.  Eventually I put together a manuscript without even really setting out to write a book (I just liked jotting ideas coming up with punchlines after like 8 years of this I realized I had enough for a book) and by early 2007, Vantage Press agreed to put it in print.  I decided to call it Almost Joke Book basically to spark curiosity and get people to leaf through it (as a "no-name" in the industry I figured I had to do something like that).  Of course, some of the jokes in there are almost funny but once inside, you will discover that many of them actually are funny, as told by several people on my amazon.com reviews.  I invite you to check out the link provided on my links tab!  You can also get a free preview at google books (link also provided).  Sorry I've been using parenthesis so much in this paragraph (bad habit).  They are all clean jokes, in case you were leery of your child running into it or this website.  This is not even my first book.  My first was a book on how to publish your own book, but I couldn't seem to get that one published.  

     For those of you who don't know me that well, I am actually a high school math teacher and have been teaching in Akron inner city for the past 16 years (currently at Central Catholic HS in Canton).  I had some success doing a "joke of the day" by trying to make a potentially boring math lesson a little more interesting.  This then snowballed into me constantly brainstorming for new material, especially in the wintertime (haha get it... brainstorm in the winter hahaha lol.  Not.).  All joking aside, as a teacher, I believe that there is nothing funny about the importance of getting a great education, so I still stress that first and foremost.   

Why should I become a member?  How do I become one?

By being a member of drexjokes you will receive periodic updates of my book progress, upcoming books, and I'm currently working on an idea for a board game.  You can also communicate with other members on my forum and be part of the coolest group in town.  Membership is free and you will NOT get bombarded with daily emails, spam, or other annoying cyberspace schemes.  Webs.com is very protective of personal information if you choose to have an account here.  Also by being a member you may receive one complimentary hour of math tutoring (per year) for you or someone you know.  I appreciate you being a member if you choose to do so!  Simply click on the MEMBERS tab at top and click Join Site at the top once you're there.  For more information about my math tutoring services, click on NEED MATH HELP? at the top.

SOME EXCERPTS FROM ALMOST JOKE BOOK

How can you tell when horses are sick? 

When they come down with hay fever.

 

What county in Ohio has the highest population of dogs?

Licking County.

 

Why did the dissatisfied customer have to return her box of animal crackers for a refund?

Because the seal was broken.

 

I ate a Happy Meal while I watched MAD T.V. on Comedy Central one Saturday night.  I felt absolutely no emotion at all the entire time. 

 

If knowledge is power, then do really smart people have to pay for electricity? 

 

Another mystery... When Penn State loses a football game at home, is it still Happy Valley?

 

Does Casper's girlfriend refer to him as her boo?

Walt Disney's grandson filled out his March Madness bracket last year and each of his Final Four teams were all Cinderella teams. 

 

I tried to play that Spider Solitaire game on my computer the other day but I couldn't.  I discovered that my mouse had eaten it.

 

What happens if you get caught hacking into the F.B.I. with your home computer?

You get thrown into the "Free Cell" and are placed in "Solitaire" confinement.

 

Ok, so if you liked these, you can check out many, many more in the book!  If you didn't like 'em, then the ones in the book are much funnier.  Either way, I hope that I at least helped brighten your day a little.  :-)

 

NEW MATERIAL WRITTEN AFTER BOOK WAS PUBLISHED.

What kind of bird would work really well in construction?

The crane.

 

They say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.  Okay well I think I have to disagree with that.  All I'm saying is... what if the apple tree is roped and yanked out of the ground by a helicopter, then flown 5,000 feet in the air?  If at that point an apple were to fall off, well...

 

I got a text message from the singer of L.A. Guns one time.  It was in all caps.

 

What did Jim Nabors do after he retired from acting?

He began working for a flooring company.  Yea, at his new job they call him "Private Tile."

 

Who would win if Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad arm wrestled?

Neither.  They are both losers.  Sometimes these jokes just write themselves.

 

Who lives at:

409 Pine Lane

Bath, Ohio 44210 ?

Mr. Clean

 

I hear Pete Rose has started his own rock band recently.  I guess he wants to make another hit record.

 

What instrument does Pete Rose play in his band?

Bass.

 

Knock-knock?  (Who's there?)  Jeanette.  (Jeanette who?)  Jeanette that big fish you had on the line?

 

I was like 20 pounds underweight all through high school, so I wasn't exactly the school jock.  I was actually the assistant water boy for the freshman football team for two years though.  That's pretty much the extent of my "glory days."  Hey, somebody's got to keep the athletes hydrated.

 

My senior year I finally made the JV team.  I led the league in turnovers.  The only time I made the crowd cheer was when we were playing an away game.

 

I tried to get on the "Extreme Makeover:  Home Edition" website to get more information on a recent episode and possibly donate.  I had trouble logging on though.  Their website was under construction.

... To be continued...

Midwest Book Review

The best news I received in 2009 was when MBR (a company based in Wisconsin that does nothing but book reviews) posted a 5-star rating for Almost Joke Book on Amazon.com.  That was really the validation I needed, a professional, unbiased third party saying what they said (you can read their review on my amazon link).  I really appreciate all the positive feedback I do get from family and friends which means A LOT to me as well.  Aside from the stores I mentioned at the top of the page, you can also find my book in several local libraries including Stark County District Main (in Canton), Massillon Public, Canal Fulton Public, several Summit County Public Libraries (Main and four branches), and North Canton Public Library.  Thanks for checking it out!!